About Violent Feelings
Violence is learned behavior. Almost everyone has feelings of wanting to hurt others. If you sometimes lose control or you're afraid you might hit or harm someone, there's no shame in seeking help. Even if you've already hurt someone, you can be proud of taking action to protect others from future violence. You can also gain relief from guilt and pain caused by out of control emotions.

Violent feelings are not your fault. But it is your responsibility to get yourself out of situations where you might harm someone. You can learn to control your emotions. It just takes a little courage. Contact a private counselor, the Support Network for Battered Women, or another community organization offering counseling.

About Domestic Violence
We worry most about violence from deranged strangers, but it's a sad fact of life that many more of us will be attacked by people we know, including our own families. Family violence is especially damaging, because children who grow up in violent households are more likely to become violent as adults. If this is happening in your family, take action to end this terrible cycle today!

If you've been hurt...
We urge anyone in a violent situation to get help immediately. MVPD is ready 24x7 to assist you with domestic violence. However, when there is evidence of injury, we are required by law to arrest the perpetrator. We want you to call us, but if you can't, or won't, there are community organizations that will help you.

Wouldn't it help if you just had someone to talk to? Trained advocates, many of whom have experienced violence themselves, can help you understand and cope with what's happening to you. You can discuss the pros and cons of leaving the relationship. When you're ready, these organizations can also help you with housing, legal and financial assistance. If you can't convince yourself to contact the police, at least contact the Support Network for Battered Women. They'll help you with your situation, whatever it is today, and will not contact the police without your consent.

Police Response to Domestic Violence
"But I love him (or her). No way I want him (her) to go to jail."
Unfortunately, many cases of domestic violence are not one-time incidents. In spite of apologies and promises to do better, attacks often continue. Many times, a period of harmony follows an incident before violence returns. Frequently attacks escalate, becoming more violent each time.

In years past, the law allowed arrest flexibility, so a spouse could persuade police to leave the offender in the home. Because too many abused spouses were later re-attacked or killed by the offender, California law now mandates arrest. Police officers who come to your home have no choice—even if the victim does not want to 'press charges.' The state can prosecute without the victim's cooperation.

The Importance of Prosecution
The fact that arrest is mandatory should not deter you from calling the police. Like alcoholics and drug addicts, violent offenders often can't stop, even if they want to. They often lie to themselves about the magnitude of the problem or convince themselves the abuse is justifiable. They often believe that changes must come from the victim. These are not attitudes conducive to recovery.

Arrest and prosecution may be the only way to stop the violence. For the sake of the victim, and other family members, it's critical to stop the violence as soon as possible. Getting beaten again next month won't make it any easier. Rehabilitation is a long-term process that may never have a chance to begin if the perpetrator is still in the home.

Support Network for Battered Women
The police department works closely with the Support Network for Battered Women (SNBW) to prevent continued domestic violence. SNBW offers a complete package of services for victims of domestic violence, including counseling (emergency and ongoing), emergency shelter for spouses and children, legal assistance, advice/information about restraining orders, community education and prevention programs. Even if you don't need most of these services, it can be great to have a trained advocate to help you navigate the difficulties resulting from domestic violence.

Children Witnessing Domestic Violence
Unfortunately, family violence often occurs within the sight of young eyes. This makes children victims, too. Witnessing violence can cause a myriad of problems for children, including depression, guilt and substance abuse. As adults, they're more likely to become violent perpetrators. As a parent or guardian, it is your responsibility to get children away from abusive situations, even if the children are not being abused. Children exposed to domestic violence need professional counseling, as soon as possible, to minimize the damage.

In some situations, police may find it necessary for the safety of children to remove them from the home. In this situation, the children may be placed with other family members or in the county children's shelter. The Support Network for Battered Women can help family members understand this process and their legal rights.

When Children Are Victims of Family Violence
Children are frequent victims of family violence. See Child Abuse.


Sometimes it's a difficult judgment call. Here we attempt to provide guidance on when to call us, but you may also want to rely on your intuition and knowledge of the people involved, if any. When in doubt about the need to call, call the non-emergency number. When in doubt about the urgency, call 9-1-1.

If I hear my neighbors arguing?
If you have reason to believe violence may occur, children are involved, or the argument is getting out of control, call 9-1-1 ASAP.

If I hear neighbors or friends making threats?
If you believe someone intends to do harm or that violence is imminent, call 9-1-1 ASAP.

If it looks like my adult neighbor/friend has been beaten?
If violence is not imminent, probably the best thing to do is to encourage your friend to get help. The Support Network for Battered Women is a great place to start. Their trained advocates can help your friend figure out what s/he wants to do.

If I encounter someone who appears angry/upset enough to commit violence?
If you believe violence is imminent, call 9-1-1 ASAP.

If I'm afraid someone is going to hit me or my family members?
Leave the area immediately. Go to a safe place to call the police.

• Spouse
• Former spouse
• Cohabitant
• Former cohabitant
• Dating partner
• Had a child together