About Violent Feelings
It is important to learn how to resolve conflicts in a non-violent way. An important feature of early violence prevention is to help adults and children develop skills and self control to resolve conflicts with others. These skills involve the ability to consider different ways of solving issues with your child and control emotions to come to a safe and non-violent solution to the situation. Discipline your child thoughtfully. Never discipline when you are upset. Give yourself time to calm down. Remember that caring for children is sometimes a difficult task and discipline is especially challenging. If you find yourself having violent feelings toward your children or other family members - contact a private counselor, the Support Network for Battered Women, or another community organization offering counseling.

If you've been hurt...
If you're a child and someone is hurting you, please call the police immediately: 9-1-1 (emergency—you are in danger right now) or 650/903-6395 (non-emergency—you're safe for the moment, X). You don't deserve to be hurt. Sometimes the only way to stop it is to call the police. Please, don't be afraid to ask for help. It's a very adult thing to do.

When Children Are Victims of Family Violence
Family or sexual violence against kids falls under the heading child abuse. Investigation of these cases requires a very sensitive approach. Officers will interview the child, if possible, as well as other involved persons. If officers believe a child is in imminent danger by remaining in the household, or with other family members, they are required by law to remove the child from the home or family custody. Child Protective Services will place the child in a safe environment. As with all domestic violence situations, the police department will provide information and referrals to help deal with the trauma and legal issues arising from the incident.

Obligation to Report Child Abuse
Besides the moral obligation to report child abuse, many officials and professionals are legally obligated to report child abuse. This includes teachers, psychologists, therapists, youth center workers, social workers, group home employees, child care facility employees, probation/parole officers, physicians, dentists, chiropractors, optometrists, child protective agency employees, firefighters, clergymen and women, animal control officers and film processors. Reporters names are confidential and may only be given to certain individuals involved in the case. It is a crime for a person in one of these professions to fail to report child abuse. It is critical that anyone suspecting that a child may be a victim of any type of abuse (violence, physical or emotional torture, or neglect) report it immediately to Child Protective Services (650/493-1186) or the police department (9-1-1 or 650/903-6395).

Whether or Not to Call the Police
"My sister beat my daughter, but I want to handle it in the family. It only happened once. I'll make sure it doesn't happen again."
Before you put your child and others at risk, consider a few factors. First, families often fail to shelter a child from abuse because it's too tempting to believe that a beloved relative won't do it again, even though this sort of abuse is often repeated. Is it worth the risk to your child?

Second, when someone who hurt them violently is not punished, it sends a terrible message to a child. Victims of childhood violence can come to feel that it's okay to hurt them, because they're not as good as other people. Just being around the perpetrator can cause anxiety or depression.

Third, your sister may abuse other children. Social scientists tell us that when we shelter someone from the consequences of their actions, we invite them to do it again. No one wants to be responsible for the abuse of another child.

You want to do everything possible to protect injured children. This means contacting the authorities. Though bringing in the police may also be difficult for the child, it sends a clear message that the abuse was not acceptable. That you, the reporter, and the police believe the child was wronged. This is an important step in your child's recovery from the incident.


Sometimes it's a difficult judgment call. Trust your intuition. When in doubt about the need to call, call the non-emergency number. When in doubt about the urgency, call 9-1-1.

If it looks like a child has been beaten? Or is being neglected?
Yes. If you believe the child is in immediate danger, call
9-1-1 ASAP. Otherwise, call the non-emergency number (650/903-6395), 24x7. Remember, if you are a teacher, psychologist or in any of the other professions listed above, you are legally obligated to make the call, even if you have to violate patient confidentiality to report the situation.

If someone is beating me?
Yes. If you are in immediate danger, call 9-1-1 ASAP. Otherwise, call the non-emergency number (650/903-6395), 24x7.

What if I'm not sure if I'm being abused?
Sometimes it's confusing what's abuse and what's tough parenting. There's no harm in asking. Call the police non-emergency number (650/903-6395), 24x7.